Thursday, 16 July 2015

Reflections of turning 35! Its about celebration and not age

Spicy Saturday

I turned 35 recently. Calls, messages, gifts, bouquets, hugs and dinner, every cue I had subtly (yet loudly) dropped had been picked up to satisfy my birthday greed and I completely enjoyed it. Oreo and Brownie might not have been very happy with the adult ways of birthday celebration with no return gifts, magician, balloons or games, but what do they know.

But after the birthday celebrations were over, the reality of moving towards the late 30’s struck me. There are times when I tend to forget how old I am, like reciting Twinkle Twinkle when rolling chapatti (because that’s what I hear most often) or applying Barbie nail paint that Brownie sometimes allows me to borrow. But when I am asked over and over again with each birthday blessing call (disguised as an age reminder call), it is difficult to ignore the big number.

Did I say ignore, how can I ignore when my offsprings have a no-snooze-age-reminder setup loaded for me. They keep running back from park, yelling
“Sorry, how old are you, you said?” Oreo said, back from a discussion with friends and all-ears-moms around.
“35”, I am yelling again.
“Its easy to remember you know Oreo. You are 3, I was 5 until recently and so Mom is 3 and 5 together. That is 35. Its easy”, said an over excited Brownie.

Voila, what an impromptu trick. I should have appreciated it but the number carried me away. Number that keeps ticking in my head like a time bomb. 35! 35! 35! I keep reminding myself its just a number. But when I try remembering what I did in those 35 years that just poofed away, all I see is grey hair, extra kilos and stretch marks that stand as a testimony to something wise I must have done.

So here I am taking a retrospective look at the past years, in a typical Now and Then table format -

Who I was 20 years back – Ancient history
Now
I weighed 44kgs, loved the mirror and fitted clothes
I might have been fighting a losing battle with the weighing scale but I am proud of all the stretch marks, the bulges, the flab, the double chin and the ever-pregnant belly. I carry it with pride like an injured soldier with his scars (whatever that means)
Never a topper in class or sports
Always a topper in class and every other field for that matter, if you ask my kids
Love (as misled by movies) meant, being good friends, romantic dinners, hand holding, surprise gifts and late night chats.
Now I love to swipe the credit card, call him for OTP and later end up paying cash on delivery for the purchase husband made for himself. I also ask him to save receipts of rare gifts he gets me so I can shamelessly exchange them later.
My Mom is a little drama queen when she said, 4 kids are too much, so I thought
Managing 2 small and 1 adult kid with tantrum throwing maids, can give you 5 grey hair everyday.
Good day meant a bowl of ice-cream
Good day means good bowel and a novel
Best food is found in expensive restaurants
My Mom’s food is the best. My kids have been not so lucky but then they have their Nani to look up to.
Oh how I wished for a TV or PC in the bedroom
A separate entertainment room with a lock where I can sit with my invisibility cloak on.
30 minutes in the bathroom were never enough
Bath, afternoon nap and combing hair, you can’t have it all in one day
Periods were the bad days of the month
They are good days when you actually have a reason to say no to lot of things
Outsourcing meant, job opportunities
Now it means a way to get away with boring and repetitive house chores
Shopping was for the ones with the luxury of money
Shopping is a necessity and meant for the ones with the luxury of time.
Track pants meant night wear
They are all day comfort wear and easily available in all shapes and sizes
All I ever wanted was 20,000 bank balance and small low maintenance apartment
I wish I can have a big villa, where I can grow my own weed and live happily ever after
Hated school
Love school as it means time away from kids and memories of good old days
TV meant MTV
TV means answering Dora’s dumb questions

You might think I am materialistic, mean and rather 53 years old. But the truth is that I now know, better than ever, what I want to be and who I am. My mantra for life has changed. One short life, forgive, let go and live it. Don't hold everything so tightly, let go! 

Somethings in me haven’t changed at all, like I still keep hinting everyone about the upcoming birthday and mandatory gifts. I am still greedy and super excited about my birthday, even though husband would keep trying to pull me back to reality and insists it is only meant for kids.

But there are times when I surprise myself like how I slow down around my kids, how I end up calling my mom everyday and enjoy a hot cup of tea with newspaper on Sundays.  I don’t feel like I am missing anything if I am not going out on the weekends. I never knew how well I could yell until I became a mom. I can also act well now, when the moment after yelling I turn around and beg my maid to do some more work at barely audible pitch and folded hands.  

There are lots of things that I still want to learn like salsa dancing, surf boarding and patience. But not everything anymore. I expected too much and gave back too little. I have finally understood that husband and I are at opposite end of the lover’s spectrum and deeds speak louder than words or gifts (views and opinions are my own, believe me).


14 comments:

  1. Awesome post dear.. Every phase has it's own importance in our lives..

    http://zigzacmania.blogspot.in/

    ReplyDelete
  2. wow seems really interesting... so thats how it feels to be 35 huh

    Hope to be in touch
    Blaber Blogger
    http://www.blaberblogger.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thats how I feel turning 35, but then every person is different and not so intelligent. haha.

      Delete
  3. Loved reading the comparison between then and now Namrata. :)

    ReplyDelete
  4. Nice one namrata, dont know where you keep them hiding ...I have to soon think about 40 :P

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I am not far behind 40, but I think the Mantra for this life is going to be the same now. One short life, let go and live!

      Delete
  5. Your enchanting talks are no less than 3.5 years Oreo's

    ReplyDelete
  6. Such a delightful read! Interesting how you weighed your current views against the one held by your younger self.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks for reading and commenting Mukulika!

      Delete
  7. Nammu felt very delighted after reading your blog...this the story of every women. The way u have put was awesome. I liked the comparison in table most and especially the bowel and novel one. Ur words are heart touching. Keep writing

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Shweta! I can truly understand if bowel and novel comment touched your heart :)

      Delete