Monday, 4 May 2015

Confessions of a Not-so-perfect mom


Spicy Saturday
It’s a full moon night and my Vampires are still out in the park slaying other kids. While they are away, the werewolf at home is busy collecting their art and craft work which has been piling up like my to-do-list.


Its everywhere and its spreading, its on the dining table, TV table, near the wash basin, under the sofa, kitchen counter, near the telephone, on the fridge. So before they return, I am going to throw it all away. Yes, yes throw it away in the trash, as in, toss in the garbage. Yes, the same modern art that they had spent over two minutes in making and sucking the blood out of the A4 size paper we bought for our printing needs.
Don't go by their innocent faces

But I have to find a better way than just throwing in the bin, because otherwise after the vampires cast some spell, the craft work magically reappears everywhere and then looks at me, straight in the eye seeking an explanation.

I don’t do this out of any sick habit or to avenge them. Rather I take advantage of their short memory and my visionary sight in an attempt to keep the house manageable and clean (as per my standards). They make 10 art and craft wonders everyday, and not exactly the way Mister Maker or the summer camp teaches them. So can you imagine the amount of collection I will have if I keep saving it?

I also throw away the wretched KinderJoy toys. Every trip to buy groceries means you have to sacrifice some amount of money to keep the tribe happy and sane. And to ensure that we might not forget buying these expensive treats, the store stacks them up right at the checkout counter. But we have to admit that the marketing tactics of this otherwise Rs5 stuff has been a topic of discussion among friends.

Eat their chocolates. I have a sweet tooth but only for chocolates (no sweets, no kinder joy, thanks). I ensure that kids don’t over indulge in chocolates and spoil their teeth. Once they put it away, I take just a bite, and then another, and then another. And before I know, its gone. But I can’t replace it with a new chocolate, because that would mean buying a new chocolate first and then eating some more to bring it back to amount they had left. And obviously I can’t eat more, because I am on a diet.

Delete their Selfies. Brushed teeth, take a selfie. New hairpin, take a selfie. Milk moustache, take a selfie. Sibling pooping, takes a selfie with him. Eating Maggie, take a selfie. I am dealing with some selfie addiction here. So what do I do, I delete them. No honestly, you tell me, how many can I keep, 10, 20, 50. We have a new one everyday.

Send Dad whatsap messages “When are you coming home?” and when he gets annoyed being asked at 2pm, I blame the kids. Life is so much simpler now (in some ways only) that I have more people to put the blame on. Disconnect unwanted calls, and blame the kids. House is dirty, blame the kids.


Do you think I should be feeling guilty about this, because I don’t? 

16 comments:

  1. Interesting, I should be careful now when you tell me Dhrit sent this whatsapp :)

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  2. That was a cute read..i was smiling my way all through your post...the Selfie part was the best...
    Brushing teeth/ take a selfie- too much!!! At the same time too cute...

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    1. Thanks for stopping by Viyoma! They are cute but taking a selfie with toothbrush in the morning when you are already getting late for school, just makes me want to scream (more)

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  3. Awesome! I can so relate to it!!! I can't stop laughing :)

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  4. Very cutie little post.Could'nt help laughing!

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  5. Ha ha! Such a fun post! Liked reading it..
    Namrata - Came over from the "Spicy Saturday Picks" on Blogadda and enjoyed your post. Congratulations!

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    1. Thank you Parul! It was ironical that this post was selected by Blogadda on Mother's day as I am all about anti-parenting feelings on the blog, trying to keep myself sane.

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  6. I love it Namrata. when everybody is praising mother for her sacrifice, her loveYou showed us another side of a mother. Mother who is not less than in anything than our mother's ,but little different, coz she has to cope up wih the office work as well. We often forget that mother also loves chaoclate . I loved this portrayal of mother.

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  7. Luved the post Namrata! Its jus super cute :)

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  8. Hilarious... I have a 2 yr old kid and I have similar confessions.

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  9. Very cute blog... And chocolate part was very nice

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