Disclaimer - Please keep your hopes low from the read, because there will be no disclosures about my personal life. All incidents are purely fictional and any resemblance to any person living/ dead is purely coincidental. Did I say, its not based on my personal life?
Phase 1 – Inception of the Fight
It is 9 pm. Dad just returned from office, hungry and cranky as ever.
Kid 1 - “Dad, you promised you will finish that book you were reading me yesterday.”
Dad - “First keep my laptop bag there”
Kid 2 - “Did you bring me Dairy Milk Silk today?”
Dad - “No, you go and pee first. I don’t know how you can remember the names of all chocolates and cars and not learn anything about how-to-keep-your-pants-dry.”
Dad goes to the bathroom to change and freshen up, leaving the kids wishing only if he would change his mood too. Meanwhile, Mom collects all the kids and food, and arranges them appropriately on the dinner table.
Everyone is now at the dinner table. Kids are holding their breath as mom is removing the lid from the curry and revealing what’s in their fate today. While Dad doesn't mind anything that is edible right now and starts serving right away.
Dad – “Did you call up the bike service guy to come and pick up the bike for repair? I am sure you didn't.” looking at Mom and saying like he has been planning this conversation since morning, while stuffing his mouth with food.
Mom – “Yes, I did try to call the company. But nobody bloody picks up the call”, said after finished chewing and resisting the urge to look into everyone else’s plate.
Dad – “How many times did you try to call”, now more aggressive in his tone as well as gobbling.
Mom – “Are you trying to say that I didn't try enough? Why don’t you do it yourself”, said holding the bite in hand and tear drops in eyes, the choice depends on answer.
Dad – “Can’t I ask you to do one thing? I have been trying to tell you to get it done since last 4 days. After all, its not my bike alone. No, no, no, no, don’t start crying. Now this is an over reaction”, said with a deep understanding of where this conversation is going.
Mom – “Don’t talk about over reaction. Over reaction is what you did in the morning, when you were complaining about the breakfast.” Now up from her seat in the middle of the meal, sniffing loudly and dropping the left over from the plate, right in the dustbin.
Dad – “That was pain, not over reaction. I just had a temporary tooth filling done and small things hurt if they get stuck in the sensitive cavity”, in a big dilemma, whether to continue eating or not?
Mom – “How would I know that something as small as mustard seed will get stuck, when you can easily manage eating things you like”, now howling from the living room while trying to find the unfinished novel.
Dad – “Why do you always have a problem with what I eat, how I eat and how much I eat?” got up stomping his feet and leaving everything behind on the table.
Phase 2 – The “Long Silence” aka “Cold war”
Phase 3 – Decoding the enemy’s mind
Mom’s mind -
Have the kids finished their dinner yet? Should I go and check? No, why should I, am I the only parent? Lets see, who takes care of the kids today?
I am going to finish reading this book today and not get up from the couch, at all. Read, read and read. Should I smile or resist, when I read something funny?
Should I put the left over in the fridge at least, so that we can eat it tomorrow?
I will not tell him about the call from his friend that he missed, why should I?
Will I lose weight by skipping today’s dinner? I have to remember to weigh myself, first thing tomorrow?
Dad’s mind -
I am not going to say sorry this time. Why am I feeling sorry, maybe I am just hungry or sleepy?
Should I put the TV on or not? I wanted the other side of the couch. Now I will be stuck here forever. Is she going to the bathroom or anywhere else, so I can sneak in some food?
If I switch on the laptop, she’ll think I am working. If I start reading too, she will think I am mocking her. Should I take client calls now, or keep my face red and do nothing? Who will put the kids to eat and sleep? Is the worst over or yet to come?
Everybody sleeps, somehow, at a point.
Phase 4 – Peace treaty
In the morning, Dad makes Tea and wakes up Mom by banging the fridge and utensils aloud. Mom is not looking directly in his eyes, but wondering if has he forgotten about yesterday’s fight? Should I eat today or continue the hunger strike? I can’t afford to skip the morning tea esp after no dinner yesterday or else the day will be a complete waste.
Dad seems to be zoned out with newspaper and hot tea.
Phase 5 - Aftermath
Kid 1 –“Mom and Dad, are you friends again, or still katti? Because if both of you are wearing the same color, it means you are friends.”
Kid 2 – “You said, we are siblings so we should always look after each other and never fight. So why did you?”
Kid 1 – “You know what. The same day the padoosi uncle aunty fought too. Believe me, didi told me about her parents, while we were talking in the park. Did you throw something at each other too, like they do?”
Kid 2 – “Will we get breakfast today?”
Kid 1 – “Did you put mustard seed in breakfast today? I am just trying to remind you.”
Kid 2 – “Dad had dinner after you slept. So why didn't you eat, after he slept?”
Kid 1 – “Dad slept on the sofa without his favorite pillow. So can I take his pillow today, because he can sleep without it?”
Kid 2 – “Mom, see my pants are still dry. Did you notice? Nobody helped me.”
Kid 1 – “Who said sorry first? Do you become friends, with a thumbs-up like us?”
Kid 2 – “Can we order pizza if you are not going to cook today?”
Stage 6 – Happily Ever-after
The end is only the beginning of a new fight.